The Greek word for slander is derived from diabolos, which means "devil." Slander is devilish and diabolical. In Aramaic, slanderer means "one who eats another's piecemeal." Slanderers are workers of iniquity. "Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge? Who eat up my people as they eat bread, and call not upon the Lord."Psalms 14:4.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13
My Name Is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives I am cunning and malicious & gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible
The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and ruin marriages. I end ministries set up by God.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses.
MY NAME IS GOSSIP
Gossip as a means to connect with others. Being able to give someone the inside scoop can bring two people closer together. The gossipers believe the person receiving the information will feel privileged. Another reason for their blabbing is more destructive: gossip can be used to get back at a mate. For example, if a husband has confessed a struggle with pornography to his wife, and the wife feels betrayed and wounded as a result, she may tell her friends about it as a way of getting back at her husband.
Anything that pleases God is a target of the enemy. Satan promotes disunity and one subject he uses to great effect is GOSSIP. He is out to destroy and there is plenty of people ripe for his cause. He specializes in using church people to accomplish this. These are not demon-possessed people. These are true believers, well-meaning saints. Often they are pillars of the community with strong personalities, deserving respect, but they are sometimes used to divide the church. They become GOSSIPERS
Gossip is condemned as sin in the Bible. "Thou shall not go up and down as a talebearer among Thy people." Leviticus 19:16. Gossips and backbiters have crippled leaders, armies, homes, and churches. "A whisperer separates chief friends." Proverbs 16:28.
Gossip is one of the surest ways unity is destroyed. When gossipers gossip about others they are creating disunity. Surely we have all seen how gossip is a destructive force that has destroyed many relationships and many churches.
Gossip
It topples governments, wrecks marriages,
Ruins careers, sullies reputation,
Causes heartaches, nightmares, indigestion,
Spawns suspicion, generates grief,
Makes innocent people cry into their pillows.
Even its name hisses.
It's called gossip. Office gossip.
Shop gossip. Party gossip.
It makes headlines and headaches.
Before you repeat a story, ask yourself,
Is it true? Is it fair?
Is it necessary?
If not—SHUT UP.
Sadly negative gossip can take root in church. It's so easy to pass on "juicy tidbit" of information which inevitably have a depressing effect on many. And, of course, with the telling the substance changes so much that the truth is practically always twisted.
Minister Bans Gossip In Church.
A clergyman has banned gossip from his church. Reverend Martin Swan is to erect a sign outside Heywood's Trinity Methodist Church proclaiming it a "gossip and criticism free zone". The minister says he has taken the step because he believes tittle tattle is at the heart of some of society's biggest problems. He told the Manchester Evening News idle chitchat could even lead to alcohol and drug dependency. He said dangerous tongue-wagging is to be banned from the Bethel Street church from July 1. Mr Swan last year called for Christmas to be cancelled because it had become so commercialised. "I work with a lot of people with problems which can manifest themselves in things like drugs, alcohol and relationship problems," he said. "So often they can trace their problems back to when a person said something critical about them." Rev Swan added: "I want to highlight that we can really hurt each other with our words."
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her tongue enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny, he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ...................and left it there all night.
If someone comes to you with gossip - Don't listen! If they blurt something out about others, tell them that they need to GO and talk with the person that they seem to be offended by. Tell them you'll give them a few days or a week to reconcile with this brother or sister in Christ, and that you'll be checking up on their progress of reconciling with the person they're gossiping about. This method will normally stop people from coming to you with gossip.
One day a man saw, at a distance, his pastor hugging the wife of another church member. He was aghast. The first thing he did was tell other members of the church what he saw "just between the two of us."
That Sunday at services the Pastor announced that one of the church members had a tragedy earlier in the week. It turned out that what the gossiping church member saw was the Pastor consoling the wife. Ashamed of what he had done, he went to the Pastor to confess what he had done. He asked for the Pastors forgiveness, which he granted. The Pastor asked only that the gossiper do him a favour. The church member feeling very guilty, jumped at the chance. The Pastor said, "Take this feather pillow to the top of the hill in the middle of the town. Tear it open and release all of the feather to the wind. Then come back to me when you're finished." The church member thinking he realized what the lesson was, obliged. When he came back to the Pastor, he told the Pastor that he understood the lesson. The lesson was that gossip can spread quickly and easily. The Pastor said, "That is true, but for the most important part of the lesson: Now go gather each feather."
Christians can be as bad as non Christians. The Christian gossip may claim they are spreading their news so people can "pray for" the victim, so that "we know what kind of person" he or she is, because they are "so concerned about him/her."
Gossip in the church is a serious problem. But don’t try to eradicate it yourself. It's a job for the pastor and deacons or elders of your church. They should seek the woman's side of the story, and then take action as they feel is biblically appropriate.
Gossipers, slanderers and busybodies: Gossip is idle talk, usually negative, spoken about someone who is not a part of the conversation. Much of what a gossiper says may be mere rumour, hearsay or sensationalized. Because the gossiper is aware that gossip is a sin, he usually begins by saying "I hate to say this but I so concerned about…." or "I know I shouldn't be saying this to you but I don't know whom else to share this with, " or "Since you mentioned it…." This conversation is usually whispered among a few "trusted" friends. This is why gossipers are also called whisperers. Gossipers flatter us when they chose us to be their confidantes, but we must be aware that those who gossip to us will also gossip about us. They claim to be concerned about the problem but are not concerned enough to tell the "accused" of his "problem," so that the matter can be resolved or stopped. Instead they cause disunity in the church (Proverbs 6:11) and they hurt the victim and discourage him from service. "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly" (Proverbs 26:22).
We gossip when we speak in a negative way about another when they are not present to defend themselves. The facts spoken may be true and the speaker may be motivated out of concern, but if the one spoken about would not appreciate the conversation, it is gossip.
Gossip is inherently a "false witness" of slander. Gossip and slander orbit around each other. Slander is the lie, and gossip the spreading of lies. Attractive gossip will not always be completely incorrect--it may well have some bearing on the truth. But it will always have a perverted "twist" to it that is the lure. In some situations, the gossip will be repeating some slander someone else told as a speculation that has no basis in truth. But in most cases, the appeal of the sin of gossip is that we know it is not true.
Gossip's main purpose is to spread misery. It's certainly not to build people up or minister to them in the name of Jesus. A gossip's wake is littered by damaged families and broken relationships: "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends" (Prov. 16:28).
Gossiping is a sin and not only can it destroy a person, it can destroy a congregation. A person's private life must be respected and remain private. Someone who takes counsel from his or her minister must know that the discussions will remain confidential and even the fact that they are meeting is held in confidence.
Just why is there gossip among Christians? Paul preaching to the Ephesians, and James passionately describing the power of the tongue, both say gossip is giving the devil a foothold. It is like fire out of hell. A major reason for gossip in Christian churches, then, is failure to understand how serious it is, and how it is used by the devil. (Eph. 4:25-32; James 3:6).
If you want to break the heart of God, just make your Church a place of gossip instead of a place of joy.
People are always hurt and demeaned by gossip. The focus is more on the teller than the person being talked about. Gossip is designed to tear another person down. The teller is also damaged. There is a strong chance that if someone is sharing gossip about someone else to you, you soon will be the topic of the teller's gossip.
Tellers of gossip are good storytellers. They weave just enough details to make it sound believable, but also know how to embellish the story at the right places to make it even more interesting. Tellers do not really care so much about the truth as getting the info out first and with the most flair.
Tellers can convince you that it is OK to listen to them because, after all, "I am just telling you what I have heard." To be fair, there are times when people tell you something, but the context is actually on dealing with an issue that needs to be addressed.
Gossip is slander which is stating things about people that are false with the intent to harm them. For something to be slanderous, it must involve deceit and falsehood and an injurious motive. To spread a rumour that a certain pastor was fined for speeding is not gossip if indeed that information is true, but to say that a certain pastor is divorced when it is not true is gossip. To spread rumours about someone in an attempt to hurt that person is wicked gossip. We must be extremely careful about passing along things that we hear. If there is any question whatsoever about the truthfulness of something, it is essential to verify it from someone who is in a position to know the matter.
A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbour.
Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later, the woman responsible for spreading the rumour learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told. The next day the wise man said, "Now, go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me." The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay the wind had blown all the feathers away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three feathers in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "It's easy to drop them, but it is impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumour, but once you do you can never completely undo the wrong."
Read this it's good
by Gary Barrett
sent in by Rose McClellan
Sometimes in the Church we find ourselves manifesting certain attitudes that will separate us from our brethren. We are told in the Bible to, "love one another", but of course this is not easy. Before we can have good Christian relationships we need to recognize those things that build walls between us. I want to notice only two but I'm sure these stand out foremost in everyone's mind. I have been told there are two kinds of criticism; constructive and destructive criticism.
This type of critique is for the purpose of benefiting the one being criticized. I think there is one important thing that will determine how the criticism is taken. When a person is criticized they must determine if the person doing the criticizing wants to help or hurt. It is easy to criticize someone you don't like much and not be concerned about the outcome. I believe I have been criticized both ways, offended by some, helped by others.
What is that key ingredient that makes criticism work to the benefiting of the one being criticized? I will give you a personal experience. When I first started preaching I guess I was like many young preachers, zealous, ambitious, wanting the Church to be perfect, and doing what I thought was right. My heart was then and is now in that which is best for the Church, but these traits of mine were misread by some.
An old Preacher got a hold of me and said, "Gary you come over to people as being arrogant, dogmatic and belligerent". If someone said that to you how would you take it? I told the old Preacher, "I don't want to be that way and I didn't realize I was leaving that impression". What he said has done me a world of good. His criticism was constructive because I knew he loved me as a brother in Christ and wanted to help me, not hurt or get even with me. If I would have felt he was just trying to hurt me it would have certainly done damage to our relationship. Love was that key ingredient.
There are other reasons why people criticize one another so I want to notice some of them. A chronic faultfinder criticizes because they have a poor self image. Such a one feels that by making others look bad they themselves look better. Running others down makes them feel important. This of course is a bad case of self deception.
Others may criticize because they are self righteous. They may feel since they have been Church members longer than some others that gives them the right to critique. Another reason people criticize is because they are jealous or just holding a grudge. This is their way of getting even and satisfying their resentment and jealousy. Another class of people who critique are those who do it by habit. They have complained and griped for so long it becomes a habit. We need to remember that criticism is a two way street.
Now remember the next time you want to criticize someone that your hearer may determine that you have an inferiority complex, or may be suffering from a lack of self esteem, or that you are self righteous, or you are jealous of the person you are criticizing or feeding a grudge or possibly just a chronic fault finder. When we criticize others behind their backs we may be telling others a little bit about ourselves and our Christianity.
Gossip also builds walls between God's people. Many times gossip and criticizing go hand in hand and it can even be hard to tell them apart. In Leviticus 19:16 God says, "thou shall not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people". Adam Clark comments on this passage "the person who travels about dealing in scandal and calumny getting the secrets of every person and family and retailing them wherever he goes.
A more despicable character exists not: such a person is a pest to society, and should be exiled from the habitation of men". Why do people gossip? Many of the reasons are similar to the reasons that cause folks to criticize. 1 Tim 5:13 withal they learn to be idle wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but tattlers also and busy bodies, speaking things which they ought not. Here Paul was talking about women but I'll guarantee you they're not the only ones that suffer from that problem.
Preachers can be guilty of gossip and are in a good position to carry tales all over the country. Brethren sometimes appear to have nothing better to do than run someone down or just carry tales. People gossip because that is the condition of their hearts. LK 6:45 A good man out of a good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
People also gossip because they wish to hurt or damage another person. Ps 109:2, 3 For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are open against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words of hatred". David says, "some lied on him and others hated him. Before we take sides with someone against another let's make sure we are standing on the side of the right. If someone tells us a story about another before we believe it CHECK IT OUT to make sure it is the truth.
Gossip can cause the break up of friendships. Prov 16:28 A froward man soweth strife and a whisperer separates chief friends". A Preacher who preaches for the Baptist Church in Modesto, Ca. said, "When he took over the Church there the people were fussing and criticizing each other. He said it seemed an element in the Church kept things stirred up all the time. He said those causing trouble finally left the Church and went to another. He went on to say the situation was greatly improved in no time at all". God must have felt the same way for he said in Prov 26:20 "Where no wood is there the fire goeth out: so where there is no tale-bearer, the strife ceases".
It is sad but true, if someone is going to keep trouble brewing the Church is better off without them. James 1:26 says, if a man brideleth not his tongue his religion is vain. Now some things to ponder. When I found out someone gossiped about me how did I feel? If it didn't feel good I shouldn't do it to someone else. Question: when does the information I'm passing on even if true become gossip? Answer: when I pass on information to hurt someone or to tear them down in order to build myself up in the eyes of others.
Question: how often do I say things about others I would not want them to know I said? When I hear things said about another should I check them out for accuracy? What would be the surest way of finding out the truth? This article is written for your consideration that we might be better servants of the Lord and prevent walls being built that separate us.
Gossip Town
Have you ever heard of Gossip Town
On the shores of falsehood Bay,
Where old Dame Rumour with rustling gown
Is going the livelong day?It isn't far to Gossip Town,
For people who want to go.
The Idleness Train will take you down
In just an hour or so.The Thoughtless Road is a popular route,
And most folks start that way,
But it's steep down grade;
If you don't watch out,You'll land in Falsehood Bay.
You glide through the valley of Vicious Town
And into the tunnel of Hate;
Then crossing the Add-To Bridge, you walk
Right into the city gate.The principal street is called, "They Say,"
"I've Heard" is the public well,
and the breezes that blow from Falsehood Bay
are laden with, "Don't You Tell."In the midst of the town is Tell Tale Park.
You're never quite safe while there,
For its owner is Madame Suspicious Remark,
Who lives on the street, Don't Care.Just back of the park is Slanders Row.
'Twas there that Good Name died
pierced by a dart from Jealousy's bow,
in the hands of Envious Pride.From Gossip Town, peace long since fled,
But envy, and strife and woe
And sorrow and care, you find instead,
If ever you chance to go.Anon.
Gossip as a means to connect with others. Being able to give someone the inside scoop can bring two people closer together. The gossipers believe the person receiving the information will feel privileged. Another reason for their blabbing is more destructive: gossip can be used to get back at a mate. For example, if a husband has confessed a struggle with pornography to his wife, and the wife feels betrayed and wounded as a result, she may tell her friends about it as a way of getting back at her husband.
GOSSIP GOSSIP
GOSSIP
Church gossip
Office gossip
Shop gossip
Party gossip
Telephone gossip
Online gossip
Gossip make headlines & headaches!
Before You Repeat A Story,
Ask Yourself...
IS IT TRUE?
IS IT FAIR?
IS IT NECESSARY?
WOULD I WANT IT DONE TO ME?
Copyright © 2003 - 2005 K2Lministry.com All Rights reserved
