May I be a living testimony to all those who seek God.
I sometimes look back on how my life was before I was saved and how it is now that I walk with the Lord.
Before I was saved, I was lost but now I am found. When I was seven years old I found out that I was half deaf.
I had a speech problem. For some odd reason I thought I'd never had a single friend in this planet. I would always be teased because of the way I talked. I hated myself.
As I grew older, I was looking for fulfilment in my life. I was always trying new things. For some reason, I always blamed God for the events that happened in my life. I was raped when I was thirteen years old by my grandfather.
I went into depression. I started to cry at night. I even attempted to kill myself before. I no longer trusted anyone. I kept to myself for fear that someone would hurt me. I thought that everyone was out to get me.
I started getting these thoughts that I didn't want to live anymore. My parents were on drugs. My dad was always in and out of prison. I had no love or friends. I would have sleepless nights. I envied the people who had a better life then me.
I started stealing from people. I lied so many times.
One day, my dad went to prison for drug possession. I was told that he wasn't coming out for three years. He wasn't himself and he was lost in drugs. He was always angry. He lived a sinful and lustful life.
He never came in and spent time with me or my family. I would see my family falling apart. When my dad went to prison, we lost our house and we had no money.
So we decided to move to New Mexico. I hoped for a better life.
My mom was lost in drugs. She would physically abuse me. I was so hurt and confused. I ran away from home. My mom saw me on the streets. She pulled me by the hair. I started to cry.
She never came home. She spent our rent money on drugs. She always went out drinking with her friends. I stopped going to school because I wasn't mentally stable .
We ended up getting our electricity turned off. We were going to be evicted. I started working at people's houses so I could buy a loaf of bread and lunch meat. My mom took the money and spent it on drugs.
One day I went to the restroom and found the drugs. Oh how I wanted to smoke it. I got to visit my dad sometimes in prison but it hurt to know that he wasn't coming home
I had nothing going for me so I started smoking and drinking. One day I was tired of leaving a sinful and unhappy life. I went to church but I wasn't ready to serve God so I stopped going.
One night I was lying in bed and I cried. I did something that I never did in my life and that was pray. I cried out to the lord with an open heart. I asked him to come into my life because I was tired of being alone.
I asked the Lord to forgive me and help me. The Lord was calling me. There I was hopeless and alone but ready to change. As time went by I started praying to God.
We ended up moving back to California because my mom wanted to change her life around.
I went to church and the pastor was called people to the altar, I cried and went up there. I got on my knees and the pastor prayed for me. I felt the holy spirit move in me.
As the years went by I trusted God. My father came home from prison when I was sixteen.
We all devoted our lives to God and went to church together.
As I started learning more and more about the Lord, he was calling me to share the Good news to others and I did. I used every opportunity to help someone. I asked God for wisdom.
Now that I have been a Christian for three years I have learned many things. I have become wise. I am a servant for the Lord and I do the work of the Lord in the areas he has called me to.
I have read many Christian books and learned from other believers. I now have this love for people and for God. Everyone I see I greet them in love.
I have learned how to pray and how to plant the seed. Now that I am saved I no longer feel like I am alone in this world. I live for the Lord. I put my trust in him.
I thank God for the trials that I went through
because I can share my experiences with others and share my testimony.......
My testimony told in another way.
I am so happy that I have the Lord in my life I have so much love burning in my heart. I have a passion for Christ and compassion for people.
Only God can change me. I remember when I did not walk with the Lord. I had so much anger in my heart. I was hurting. I longed for a friend. For someone to love me, for who I am. I was mean to those who came near. I hurt many people and lost many friends throughout my life. I showed them hate when deep in my heart, I loved them. I was searching for peace. My mother use to tell me that I needed counseling.
I would go to church sometimes but I did not understand why these people were crying? Why people hugged each other in church? When someone hugged me, the anger in my heart allowed me to push them away.
I would listen to the word but did not understand what it met. I did not have the wisdom of God before. I was looking for someone to tell me, "I love you." I was waiting for someone to hug me even if I wanted to push them away. I was searching for someone to listen to my hurts..
I wanted someone to tell me that everything was going to be ok. I walked this Earth alone, confused, and I had a meaningless life..
One day, I went to Covina Assembly of God (My current church ) The pastor was praying over everyone. I began to feel weak like I couldn't keep up my proud wall. The pastor asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ into their life. I fell to my knees.
I did something that noone can teach. I asked God to forgive me of my sins I told him that I wanted to live a better life..
The pastor came over to me. He prayed over me and I began to cry. I couldn't control the tears. So much pain, so much searching in my broken heart. I began to feel the Holy Spirit come on me.
After this day, the day that I gave my life to Christ my life began to make sense. I had a purpose and a will to walk with the Lord. He opened doors for me. He healed my broken heart. He gave me a new beginning. I had a testimony to share to everyone. My heart burned with love.
I wanted to jump up and say, "I am in love with Jesus!" Only God could do this..
Over the years, I have learned how to love the people who were once like me. People who are full of anger who are looking for the light.
I cannot hate my enemies. I have learned how to forgive others I was a unforgiving person before I came to know Christ. The Lord forgave me and since he is in me, I can forgive others.
The Lord is my strength. When my flesh begans to feel weak, my best friend (Jesus) gives me hope. When I feel like sinning or cursing against somene the Lord speaks to me.
He calms my heart and helps me to defeat temptation There are times, when I feel alone. I cry out to the Lord in prayer. He helps me to remember that he will never leave me.I am called to be a youth pastor. I say, "Why me Lord?" I try to turn from God's calling. My life begans to feel with direction. I say, "Alright Lord if this is your will for my life, I will follow you." I will teach and reach lost souls.
Prepare me oh Lord. Help me not to be proud or afraid. Come on me so I can reach the youth. Give me your love to share to others.
Flee from me devil. You cannot defeat me. I am a warrior of God and I will not be weak. I follow Christ and Christ alone Satan you can tempt me but the holy spirit will come on me, and I be filled with the Lord's wisdom.
Thank you Lord, for making things possible through you.
Continue to work in me. I am no longer a child so I will not talk like a child. I will not conform to the patterns of the world or please man. I will speak the of your word.
I will be like Christ.Thank you Lord for saving and forgiving me.
May people be at peace with you in their hearts.
In your name I pray amen.
Monique.Copywright © 2005 Monique Contero.
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