M y husband Richard and I have been married for over 15 years. I believe in promoting a healthy marriage, and I want to be a role model for other women. I am thankful that I am a woman who has only been with my husband. I enjoy being a woman, dressing like one, and being treated like one. I also believe that as a wife I am to uphold my husband in the gates. I am to pray for him, love him, support him, compliment him, give him wonderful words of affirmation, and enjoy a passionate physical relationship with him.Together Richard and I have four gorgeous children. We have three daughters Jordan, Rachel, and Joanna. Our only son is Richard Jeremiah. Together we have also experienced the loss of four pregnancies, one being a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. The first miscarriage that I experienced was before the birth of my oldest daughter, Jordan. I had just found out that I was pregnant and lost the baby a week later.
After having my two oldest daughters the Lord revealed unto me and my husband that we had put a stop to having children and that we were being selfish. He said, "You and Richard are being selfish by not having more children. My word says to be fruitful and multiply and you two are not doing that." Talk about immediate conviction upon our hearts. We prayed and asked the Lord to bless us with more children to bring up in His ways.
Two months later I found out that I was pregnant, and I scheduled an appointment at my doctor’s office. I was informed that my first step was to have an ultrasound. Upon entering the ultrasound room my husband and I were anticipating the vision of life that was within me. As quietness permeated the room I knew something was wrong. We saw a "fully developed 9 week old baby" "moving around" with a "heartbeat," but the baby was in my left fallopian tube. Normally when a baby is within the fallopian tube you only see what looks like a mass of tissue because the thickness of the tube covers the baby.
We believe that the Lord wanted us to see that there was a baby in the tube and not a mass. Richard and I were then told to go upstairs and speak to one of the obstetricians. I remember being very shaken. I'll never forget how scared I was. I was then diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy in my left fallopian tube. I was given two medical options. Both options where to medically remove the pregnancy from the tube.
One with methotrexate which would suffocate the baby and it would die. The baby would then be flushed out from the tube and hopefully expelled into the uterus. There was no guarantee that this procedure would work due to the fact that it has a very low success rate. The other method was to do laroscopic surgery and remove the baby from the tube, and try to remove or repair the tube if it was repairable. When I heard both of these options the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Joanne this is my child although out of the womb you are not to kill it. This child was made in my image." I was a total mess emotionally, and I knew I must be obedient to the Lord.
When both methods where mentioned to my husband he misunderstood and said to the doctor, "It is amazing what medical science can do these days, you can actually use medication or surgery and take the baby from the tube and mover it to the uterus where it belongs." The doctor turned to Richard and said, "No both methods take care of the problem." My husband not yet knowing what I had received from the Lord told the doctor that we had just seen a totally developed 9 week old baby with a strong heartbeat moving around in my fallopian tube and you want us to kill it.
He then said that we both understood that this was life threatening. We felt that we should use wisdom, and requested that I be put into the hospital and be monitored. We told the doctor that we had enough faith in the God that He could move the baby from the tube into the uterus if He so chose to do so. If God chose not to move the baby into the uterus then I would be in the hospital and monitored daily until my tube ruptured on its own. I was admitted to the hospital, and I was monitored for one week buy ultrasound and other medical methods. During this time I was informed of 4 testimonies of Christian woman that God had moved an ectopic pregnancy from the tube into the uterus.
I had enough faith that if God could do it for them He could do it for us. I had an opportunity to share my beliefs in the Lord with 13 doctors, 17 nurses, friends and family during this time. Most of the people in the world were supportive of our decision. Unfortunately, I can not say the same for some of our brothers and sisters in the Lord. A week later I then I passed out and had another ultrasound which showed that my tube had ruptured and I was to be operated on immediately. When I was entering surgery I gave my husband my wedding ring. I was sure to not come out alive. My body filled with blood.
I remember lying there with my arms and legs being strapped to the operating table like I was being put on a cross, and I thought to myself how Jesus died for our sins. I was informed that I needed 2 blood transfusions. I prayed over that blood and asked the Lord to cover it as if it were His blood flowing through my veins. My ruptured left fallopian tube was then removed. I had know fear of death and I was ready if it was my time to be with the Lord.
I almost died from the ruptured ectopic pregnancy in March 1999. Leaving me with one fallopian tube, and a tumor covering my remaining tube allowing me a 10% chance of ever conceiving without artificial medical assistance. God showed me a vision and gave me a word regarding a baby girl with big blue eyes, chubby cheeks, milky white skin and brown hair. I was told that I would have a third daughter and that her name was to be Joanna which means, "Jehovah has been Gracious and that her middle name was to be Renee' which means to, "Be born again."
One hour after receiving this word and vision a dear sister in the Lord called me and shared with me the same vision and word. I cried and thanked the Lord for His promise. God healed the tumor covering my remaining tube. He also answered the vision and word that was given unto me while I laid in the hospital bed after this tragedy. The Lord blessed Richard and I with 2 beautiful healthy children without any artificial medical assistance only the hand of God. One of those children born was Joanna Renee' born with big blue eyes, chubby cheeks, milky white skin, and brown hair.
What a testimony of the glory and restoration God has brought me through regarding this particular loss. He brought me out of a great depression and mighty confusion. The other 2 miscarriages where lost at 7 weeks and 12 weeks. I have a deep passion and desire to see women receive hope and healing from pregnancy loss no matter what kind of loss they experienced. I want to share how I have been restored, and that restoration is through the Lord.
This is why I have chosen~~>
"Miscarriage Matters - There is hope and healing after pregnancy loss." as my pageant platform.When women participate in pageantry they must chose a platform in which they have a passion about a subject, issue, ect. All the more something they have experienced themselves or someone close to them have experienced. After much prayer I felt that the Lord has lead me to speak on the subject of miscarriage. An unspoken subject, a subject that causes people to feel uncomfortable, and run away from discussing.
I believe in my heart that people just don't know what to say or how to help. It is difficult for an outsider to have compassion for a baby in which they never had a connection with. Where as parents we have already had that connection with the child intimately, mentally, emotionally and physically. As I mentioned, I myself have experienced four miscarriages, one being an ectopic pregnancy.
Miscarriage Matters; There is Hope and Healing after Miscarriage.
I feel that the title, "Miscarriage Matters," has a dual meaning. Miscarriage Matters because first of all it does matter. We feel alone and others who haven't experienced this kind of loss may say things they don’t realize cause us further heartache and pain. People may share words like,"There was probably something wrong with the baby." You are still young you can have other children." "It was for the best." God knows the loss. He allowed it to happen, and it matters to Him. The second meaning is that it is a "matter" in a spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, and financial sense. People who have experienced pregnancy loss, or the loss of an infant during gestation,delivery, or shortly after delivery, know only too well that pain and grieving I feel led to share. I also want them to know the joy, healing, restoration, and blessings that have come in to my life, or will come about in their lives. They too can share that very same joy, healing, restoration, and blessing. Women and men need to know that they are not alone and there is healing through our Lord Jesus.
Joanne Russillo Mrs. Christian World 2006
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